I feel horrible right now. I hope something is resolved from all our struggles...

I do love him. You can't just instantly unlove someone. Honestly though, I don't think he is ready for where I want to go with our communication. I don't feel I can express myself with him, so I keep waiting, holding it in. So I put my own feelings aside for him.

It seems too much to ask for someone's undivided attention, and it would seem at times that I'm not paying attention. I would think that by now he would know what I really dislike/ am really sensitive too... I would think it would be obvious by now... I feel like I'm not worth so much to him after all..

I imagine from the outside I appear to be a vulnerable, over-sensitive dumbshit, oblivious to the fact that I keep getting into situations where I end up hurt. I know exactly what I'm doing.

I guess I care too much...

I will still stay though, I'll manage emotionally somehow... it would be a shame if I gave up this much already and it ended this pathetically.